callmekitto:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

mememaster:

was i the only one who never had an allowance and just did things cause my parents said so

chiblogger:

chiblogger:

GUYS HELP SOMETHING HAS BEEN TAPPING ON MY WINDOW FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES I’M SCARED TO GO LOOK

oh my gOD

lameborghini:

being rude to ur followers isn’t impressing anyone or making u look funny so why hurt peoples feelings when u could be a good person instead !! revolutionary idea!

sarah531:

*taps mike* Guys I want to talk about this scene, as it is not only my favourite Martha scene but possibly my favourite companion scene-

Because Martha Jones has just been through ABSOLUTE HELL, and you see that woman there, Professor Docherty? She sort of helped with that! She traded Martha’s life for her son’s. Martha figured she would, but you know, being betrayed can’t be nice.

AND WHAT DOES MARTHA DO when everything is back to normal? SHE FINDS THE WOMAN WHO BETRAYED HER AND SHE FORGIVES HER JUST LIKE THAT AND GIVES HER FLOWERS

Martha Jones (who understands only too well one’s desire to protect one’s family) is THAT COMPASSIONATE AND THAT KIND

sketchlock:

forsciencejohn:

no pain no gain my friend

We must never forget that being artist is suffering

TO ALL MY BUSTY LADIES

babysong:

banal-adventures:

FRUIT OF THE LOOM HAS MADE CHEAP NON-BEIGE LARGE-SIZE BRAS

I REPEAT: NON-BEIGE

LOOK AT THIS SUCKER

THIS COMES IN UP TO SIZE 42DD

IF YOU BUY TWO IT’S $20

PLUS THEY HAVE A BRA WHERE YOU CAN CUSTOMIZE EACH CUP

TUMBLR NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS

I MIGHT ACTUALLY FUCKING RCYR??!?

tortle:

catbuttcat:

heysawbones:

A Proud Moment.

I don’t have a degree in eating blocks of cream cheese, which sucks because I’m sure it would add a lot of value to my CV. (Instead, I have “lying, poorly”. Does that count?). 

I did eat a block of cream cheese once, though. I remember it fondly, because it was one of the proudest moments of my life. This probably says a lot about me, though god only knows what.

I used to be part of a youth group, which is to say, yes, I was part of a church once. I was the “youth leader”, which is the church’s way of saying, “you are the only person in the youth group who doesn’t roll your eyes at us, when we talk to you.” What they did not know is that - aside from not actually being terribly religious - I had made the youth minister my sworn enemy.

He was a weird guy. Very young; not too bright, frankly. Had a goatee, because the law requires all youth ministers to have goatees. It’s true. Look it up. He told us that Mormons owned Pepsi-Cola, and that The Gay Agenda created yaoi to recruit young men, the latter of which “fact” was really, really funny. A lot of the things he did were not so funny. Once, we went to a nursing home, where he decided to jump up and down in the elevator. He knew, of course, that I had an elevator phobia. I asked him to stop. He began sing-screaming, LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN as he jumped. A chaperone asked him to stop, couldn’t he see I was afraid? I backed into the corner and crouched there, clinging to the railing. That was the day he became more than just a moron. That was the day I decided I would make his youth-group life a hell.

Most of the time, all I had to do was ask real questions about the Bible, and then ask him questions about his answers, and so on and so forth until he ran out of excuses, or said something deeply embarrassing. One day, he was trying to explain why it was still totally okay for parents to stone their kids to death for disobeying. He was flustered; inarticulate. I pulled a room-temperature block of Philadelphia cream cheese. He watched me unwrap it as he rambled on. I took a bite. I locked eyes. I did not look away. I ate in silence. There was confusion written all over his features. His sentences tumbled apart into further incoherence, and faded away. He was afraid. 

I cherish that moment. 

Why am I laughing so hard??

I had to read this out loud
I can’t breathe

territorialcreep:

i’m sorry but i laughed for an hour at this

timelordy-teganbreann:

He looks like an annoyed kid having had his arm up for ages in class trying to get the teacher’s attention.

britishthatswhy:

oh my god could you be any cuter?!